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The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from ‘Miffed’ to ‘Peeved’.

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated’ or even “A Bit Cross”. Brits have not been ‘A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorist have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance”.

The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender”. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

It’s not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffectively Combat Operations” and “Change Sides”.

The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also Have two higher levels: $Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose”.

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.

New Zealand has also raised its security levels – from ‘baaa’ to ‘BAAAA!” Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister’s bath). New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is “Shut, I hope Australia will come end rescue us.”

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right, mate”. Three more escalation levels remain, “Crikey!”, “I think we’ll need to cancel the Barbie this weekend” and “The Barbie is cancelled”. There has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of the final escalation level.

As for Bulgaria, the situation is more than confusing. It is marked for death, but reads the sign as ‘Waiting for Resurrection… on stand by”. Bulgaria has always had only two alert levels: “the situation is so bad that somebody else, desirably a ‘foreigner’, has to settle it down’. If this has not worked out, the next level of alert is reached and automatically goes off:  ‘the situation has gone beyond any control: let’s pray because God is Bulgarian … and the situation will get resolved by some miraculous outer intervention”J So… after a series of unsuccessful ‘foreign invasions’, whole-heartedly induced and invited in order to solve otherwise purely inner problems, the next Messiah has been appointed rather than elected to deal with all alert levels … keeping them out of the reach of children, i.e. citizensJ

разбрах нищо от постинга:-(
Поздрав!

Закачката е на английски - т.е. това си оригинален анекдот за това как различните нации се справят с обяваване нива на бедственост. Мой е само краят: как ние се подреждаме в редичката: винаги чакайки Месията да ни спаси от поредното бедствие:)