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19.12.2007 13:24 - Season's Greetings
Автор: svoboda64 Категория: Други   
Прочетен: 745 Коментари: 0 Гласове:
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Последна промяна: 19.12.2007 22:42


Това ми е любимата пародия на известното стихотворение на Клемънт Кларк Муур. Оригиналът и малко за автора му ще намерите на английски тук: ttp://www.carols.org.uk/twas_the_night_before_christmas.htm
Сайтът с всякакви пародии на творбата - вариации и продължения/удължения, тук: http://www.appleseeds.org/twas-night_vers.htm

Приятно забавление!


Santa is Pissed

"Twas the night before Christmas: 
Old Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves 
And threw down his list.

Miserable little brats, 
Ungrateful little jerks
I have good mind 
To scrap the whole works.

I"ve busted my ass 
For damn near a year
Instead of "Thanks Santa"
What do I hear? 

The old lady bitches 
"cos I work late at night
The elves want more money
The reindeer all fight

Rudolph got drunk 
And goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant 
and Vixen has AIDS

And just when I thought 
That things would get better
Those ass****s from IRS* 
Sent me a letter

They say I owe taxes.
If that ain"t damn funny
Who the hell ever sent 
Santa Claus money?

And the kids these days
They all are the pits
They want the impossible... 
Those mean little shits

I spent a whole year 
making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls... 
Their arms, legs and heads

I made a ton of yo- yos
No request for them
They want computers and robots... 
They think I"m IBM!

If you think that"s bad,
Just picture this:
Try holding those brats
with their pants full of piss

They pull on my nose,
They grab at my beard
And if I don"t smile
Their moms think I"m weird

Flying through the air,
Dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys
And skinning my knees

I"m quitting this job
There"s just no enjoyment
I"ll sit on my fat ass 
And draw unemployment

There"s no Christmas this year...
Now you know the reason
I found me a blonde.
I"m going SOUTH for the season!!

I"ll laze in the sun.
Into bed I"ll get tucked
And those snotty nosed brats
Can go and get f@#%ed. 

* Internal Revenue Service - Данъчна служба (САЩ)






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